Sssshhhhh

At the end of the day, it’s not about gettig married, it’s about staying married. Hehehe #therealstruggle #bereallysure…..

 

 

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what defines us??

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cool….Many a times have I pondered over the question, who really defines me. Growing up I have gone through transitions, identity crisis, strong character build but I still fail to recognise myself on some days. People say things and try to redefine us, they want us to look like them, talk like them, dress like them or sometimes they just want to be us. Along the way, I have had days when I would go back home sad because I was told something by someone who thinks that something about me is so imperfect. But I am gonna take it from my sister, ‘We define ourselves, who we are and who we are going to be,” and as long as I don’t choose to think of myself as the beautiful, elegant and blessed crazy engineer that I am, I’ll spend my life trying to code some perfect DNA into my life and my system. so hey, I am ME and I define that!!!cool....

Stolen moments or the girl who waits for success…

Being Mary Jane, might be what most educated African women are turning to, but in the end are they just adding to the  Olivia Pope crew?

One person argued that Liv is slowly giving hope and comfort to all the side chics out there. Aha believe it or not at one point it seemed really cool, when you are in the heat of the series, when Fitz runs to Liv, and they you know mwaaaa mwaaa, leaving madam president at home alone, just for that moment, when you think that the divorce word will swirl your ears as beautiful music, and you think that it really is cool having to displace someone, sending out the message that you are hotter. Wake up and smell the sweet coffee before you wake up and realise that you have turned into Mary Jane. There is nothing prestigious, cool, amazing about being a side chic because you can as well show off your hotness by being his main chic and by his meaning your man that you have to yourself and who does not go home to his wife or avoid your calls when he is with bae. And you say that all good men were taken when you were busy building your career, pursuing your dreams, doing whatever you deamed necesssary for u to succeed. But iv been told that women were blessed with the power to multitask lol . Dont let that serious handsome loving awesome guy pass by because you are busy with yo… Because oh no the world just does not need any more Olivias, leave it for fantasy and entertainment.

Now on Mary J, the successful unhappy lady worrying about her eggs frying themselves in her tummy, make choices that you are happy with. Make your bed and lie in it. You think you can handle being single at 35 then be happy about it, you cant, woman get your own man and marry him, and do not, i repeat do not put any pressure on yourself to settle down kana zvisati zvakuita. because you will end up either in the wrong marriage or being in a marriage that you were not quite prepared for, worst case, you will also put pressure on that man that you would have secured for yourslef and he will flee, literally.

So ladies, kumhanya handiko kusvika at the same time chinono chine ingwe bere rakadya richifamba. Make the right choices for your future, in a stable mental, spiritual, physical , emotional and monetary state. Keep on being elegant…

 

THE THING ABOUT THESE KIDS

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pic credit: viewbug.com

SO i have had the opportunity to observe the most amazing part of humans, the off springs, their kids.. Just from watching and listening, i have learnt what other parents do not even get a chance to learn in a lifetime. Being two children with a 3 year age difference with my sister, this is the only opportunity that I have had and it has been nothing short of amazing. They are from all over, church, neighborhood, relatives’ homes and they call me their friend, funny isn’t it??

The first lesson is that they want to be head all the time. Whether they are talking about their new shoes from mommy, new toothbrush, beautiful sandals that they frantically signal for my attention so that i just acknowledge how amazing or great their new things are. A compliment on the other hand sends them blushing, smiling and for all I know, the new shoes or dress are all they want now because someone pointed out how nice it is. So ladies you aren’t the only ones who love to be showered with those compliments, daddy your daughter needs them too for her confidence.# winkwink

They tell stories, from imaginary ones, exaggerated ones, real stories about home and about their friend who keeps on playing chikudo(beating up others lol). Some have even reported their mom for beating them to me and I laugh it off after assuring them that they should listen to what mommy says so that she plays nice. They see me eating something, they tell me about the last time they also had that meal. BUT that’s that because Zimbabwean kids are taught not to ever eat in other people’s households for fear of being bewitched(usakwate iwe!!!).

These beautiful kids just want to play all day, they have even knocked at this 20 something year old’s door when all the other friends are not around, to say hello. But I know that they will be looking for more than just a hello but a substitute awkaward friend, but hey i don’t play dolls anymore lol. So parents, take time to be their other friend, it’s good for the bond.

FRANKNESS!!! Yo kids are frank haha. I believe that no adult can even match up to that kind of frankness. They call a spade a spade not a big spoon lol. They tell you how they feel. One went on to say in my face, “you are no longer my friend,” because I had failed to comply to her demands. They turn from smily face to tantrums in no time at all.

Be nice to them, they don’t want mommy dearest anymore but you. Even if you can only be around them for a few minutes, why? Because all parents do is to bark and scream commands so turn on the soft side sometimes, Its rewarding.

Finally DO NOT, i repeat, DO NOT  curse your kid, save that for… Well even dogs are being called all these nice thing like sweety pie muff muff and all that gibberish. tell them how beautiful they are for their confidence. Teach them humility and serving others. teach them to say thank you and I’m sorry. Tell them things that you would want to see them grow up to be one day. Well if you want to raise a lazy good for nothing naughty freaky adult , keep on calling them that. I might not be really be a parent now but that is the kind of parent that I would want to be one day. The one who calls that little boy or girl a genius, wise naughty clever thing, beautiful, amazing and just the best.

So parents take a day off from being a parent, and be your baby’s friend. Who said you are too old for a game on your day off. Wise words I believe from the elegant innovator.

SHE @ twenty-something

pic credit: birthdaycakeimages

So… i turn 20 something in a day and was looking for the ideal cake that i would want to get for myself, vain as it may seem lol. But hey, a girl can still do that no judgement right. I came along a cake that i would most certainly want to get some of the people in my life, the likes of mmmmh, let me not name and shame. but they do know themsleves, the ladies’ men, cassanovas, they who believe that these babes were put here on earth just to fall in love with them.

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pic credit: birthdaycakeimages

The irony right. Mmm let me leave that one, a story for another day.

It got me thinking about the things that i have achieved so far and the things that i am most grateful for in my life despite the mid-life crisis which occasionally peaks in to just say hey once in a while.

  1. Above all the chance to know and fall in love with God. That superseds all else and the fact that His love is there for me in my imperfection and weaknesses. #priceless
  2. My crazy family, hey…WORDS are not enough for real. My dad with his crazy stories which are lies half of the time all for the sake of our entertainment. Mom, the one who can scream the sense into anyone lol. Little sister who is adorable as ever and my pillar of strength, actually a well of inspiration which rarely runs dry.
  3. …….. mmmmmh #smile
  4. My friends, crazy, loving, cuddly, fluffy, sweet cute. The list goes on.
  5. How i have turned out, not so bad after all considering how mom screamed that i do this and that, yah right, I’m my own person hantika(OK?)
  6. Lessons that life has taught me, all invaluable and yet amazing, and painful at times.The smile.. Vain maybe but you can make your own humble list lol. It really has been perfected over the years of cause….
  7. The way i see life, I know it has to be awesome in some way. Be nice to me and I might explain.
  8. The dreamer in me. Good life, beautiful kids, sexy hunky funny hubby, mmm list is too long. But i dream it all with my eyes open and closed. AND i work my ass of for it(not literally lol)
  9. The amazing people whom i have met along the way, some loveable, some not so much, other just there for the lessons, some i will definitely hold onto, others are just fading memories but it has all been worth a while.

I will finish this long list next year…

THE LITTLE BIG CREATURE CALLED PURPOSE..

Purpose

pic credit: befelonyfree.org.uk

I have jumped from one interest to another, from reading to writing to just talking lol, but hey it’s only a matter of time before I get the Big Bang moment of my life. Let me elaborate, espagorate and do all the “ates”.

So growing up I never (I mean never ever) thought about that little tiny creature that has been torturously crawling into my space called life purpose this way. Ndaiti pamwe ka going to school, getting good grades, getting a “good” degree was the purpose. Now that I have all that, counting long hours at home, I have been given a second chance to rethink, mm thought second chances are only talked about in church LOL. For the greater part of my childhood I thought that a woman’s purpose was just to at least get whatever it is that they called  a decent education and….BE A WIFE who makes pretty sweet smelling toothless nice babies, cooks, dresses well and just that. Still if that were the case yowe I’m far from living out my purpose ka. Its haunting me day and night, when I wake up stretching in the morning thinking of how to spend my jobless day, what all the motivational speakers have said in my life echoes like that loud 5 am rising bell at boarding school, ”What is your life purpose?”

I believe that this is the biggest discovery of one’s life. It beats anything else that I have found out, from my true love, my love for pizza and burger (yummy), or my career path, even my deepest darkest fear. A part of me thought for months that it’s supposed to miraculously bring me happiness though but hell no! I somehow managed to convince myself that without it I would be a miserable walking zombie ka, to the extent of putting a sticky note on my wall to remind me every single day that I’m missing the only crucial piece of the puzzle left. No I refuse to have that (over my dead body!!)  LOL. Happiness is what I make of every moment, aware of my purpose or not cause if that was the case eh the majority of the world would have literally committed suicide long back. I am on a long journey, to discover who I am, what I want, why I am here, why I have the gifts that I have and ultimately that little or shall I say humongous creature called purpose. And on this journey I choose to take every day as it comes, live every moment as it is passed, enjoy the long wasted days because busier days are going to come, hopefully not too busy to enjoy with the people that are dear to me. So hama, I may not know my purpose yet, but I choose to live, because the elegant innovator makes lemonade, loves hard and enjoys it all, ko kutyei (why not) LOL. From the young elegant African innovator to the rest of the elegant innovators out there.

The bitter sweet pain😅

So finally, after four good years of studying for my undergrad in engineering, I finish🎓🎓. And all I can come up with are the bitter sweet memories. This has been the most difficult part of my journey as an elegant and innovative young African woman.  I can’t help but feel good and triumphant. I keep on smiling as a thought keeps on sweeping through the back of my mind every five minutes, it was all worth it. I have friends, I found love, I grew up, learnt about being that innovative woman, and above all, I learnt to take each beautiful moment as it came, and each fall as a thorn that I could either live with or deal with…
I am better and bolder, cooler and oh more confident, with dreams bigger than those I had at the beginning of my journey. Life is beautiful and is for living. I am living mine, counting one more victory, another trophy in my invisible cabinet. Elegant innovators, are you living yours???