You make him…

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photo credit: anal-getyczny.tumblr.com

 

My unborn daughter, to you my love.The girl I wish to see growing up to be more like me but better in every sense of the word, I write to you to tell you of my lessons from life.

You will grow up to be told of fairy-tale love. I hope you get to watch and read the Cinderella stories of our time. We will protect you from reality because we want you to grow with an imagination that runs wild and with untainted faith in humanity. You will grow up seeing the love that your father and I have, which is truest in its form. He will be there for you in every way possible and you will never get hurt.That my love, will be your idea of what men are. I will show you what happiness really should be and what respect for other beings truly means. But that will be us protecting you from the world. One day you will meet a guy, fall hopelessly in love, maybe he will be one of the many you have been with since we had the birds and the bees talk, but this will be real and you will know it.

My love, he will not be perfect. He will not be like your father because even him, I built him to be where we are, just like he did with me. You will hate some things about him, you will compromise more than once because you know that he is your home where you find love. He might just have dreams, but you nature them and make him believe that he can achieve all of them, if he doesn’t, you will love him the same. He might not look the way you want him to, and dress the way you think will make him look more handsome and respectable, but you my dear will fix that over time. Do not worry the nurturing part of you will take care of that. When he comes home exhausted and a mess, you will give him a place to let it all out and heal for the next day, you saw your father happy almost every morning, I took care of that. He might have wayward opinions of people and love and politics and sports and everything, you will listen, learn all about him and be the company he needs because in all that you will also find your place in life.

He will err just like you will do so many times. but as they say, to err is human and to forgive is divine. Take your time to love him either way from your beautiful soul. Talk to him, tell him your worries and like your father he will take care of you. Share with him your joys and achievements, and he will help you soar even higher. Build him up love, and he will do the same for you. You will not get the successful young man who has it all and knows it all, but in the end, you will look back, old and grey and smile knowing how far you have come together, probably from nothing, just like your father and I. So have a big heart, do not expect perfection in people, learn and grow with him, you will be a happy soul, not just a beautiful one.

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SHE @ twenty-something

pic credit: birthdaycakeimages

So… i turn 20 something in a day and was looking for the ideal cake that i would want to get for myself, vain as it may seem lol. But hey, a girl can still do that no judgement right. I came along a cake that i would most certainly want to get some of the people in my life, the likes of mmmmh, let me not name and shame. but they do know themsleves, the ladies’ men, cassanovas, they who believe that these babes were put here on earth just to fall in love with them.

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pic credit: birthdaycakeimages

The irony right. Mmm let me leave that one, a story for another day.

It got me thinking about the things that i have achieved so far and the things that i am most grateful for in my life despite the mid-life crisis which occasionally peaks in to just say hey once in a while.

  1. Above all the chance to know and fall in love with God. That superseds all else and the fact that His love is there for me in my imperfection and weaknesses. #priceless
  2. My crazy family, hey…WORDS are not enough for real. My dad with his crazy stories which are lies half of the time all for the sake of our entertainment. Mom, the one who can scream the sense into anyone lol. Little sister who is adorable as ever and my pillar of strength, actually a well of inspiration which rarely runs dry.
  3. …….. mmmmmh #smile
  4. My friends, crazy, loving, cuddly, fluffy, sweet cute. The list goes on.
  5. How i have turned out, not so bad after all considering how mom screamed that i do this and that, yah right, I’m my own person hantika(OK?)
  6. Lessons that life has taught me, all invaluable and yet amazing, and painful at times.The smile.. Vain maybe but you can make your own humble list lol. It really has been perfected over the years of cause….
  7. The way i see life, I know it has to be awesome in some way. Be nice to me and I might explain.
  8. The dreamer in me. Good life, beautiful kids, sexy hunky funny hubby, mmm list is too long. But i dream it all with my eyes open and closed. AND i work my ass of for it(not literally lol)
  9. The amazing people whom i have met along the way, some loveable, some not so much, other just there for the lessons, some i will definitely hold onto, others are just fading memories but it has all been worth a while.

I will finish this long list next year…

THE LITTLE BIG CREATURE CALLED PURPOSE..

Purpose

pic credit: befelonyfree.org.uk

I have jumped from one interest to another, from reading to writing to just talking lol, but hey it’s only a matter of time before I get the Big Bang moment of my life. Let me elaborate, espagorate and do all the “ates”.

So growing up I never (I mean never ever) thought about that little tiny creature that has been torturously crawling into my space called life purpose this way. Ndaiti pamwe ka going to school, getting good grades, getting a “good” degree was the purpose. Now that I have all that, counting long hours at home, I have been given a second chance to rethink, mm thought second chances are only talked about in church LOL. For the greater part of my childhood I thought that a woman’s purpose was just to at least get whatever it is that they called  a decent education and….BE A WIFE who makes pretty sweet smelling toothless nice babies, cooks, dresses well and just that. Still if that were the case yowe I’m far from living out my purpose ka. Its haunting me day and night, when I wake up stretching in the morning thinking of how to spend my jobless day, what all the motivational speakers have said in my life echoes like that loud 5 am rising bell at boarding school, ”What is your life purpose?”

I believe that this is the biggest discovery of one’s life. It beats anything else that I have found out, from my true love, my love for pizza and burger (yummy), or my career path, even my deepest darkest fear. A part of me thought for months that it’s supposed to miraculously bring me happiness though but hell no! I somehow managed to convince myself that without it I would be a miserable walking zombie ka, to the extent of putting a sticky note on my wall to remind me every single day that I’m missing the only crucial piece of the puzzle left. No I refuse to have that (over my dead body!!)  LOL. Happiness is what I make of every moment, aware of my purpose or not cause if that was the case eh the majority of the world would have literally committed suicide long back. I am on a long journey, to discover who I am, what I want, why I am here, why I have the gifts that I have and ultimately that little or shall I say humongous creature called purpose. And on this journey I choose to take every day as it comes, live every moment as it is passed, enjoy the long wasted days because busier days are going to come, hopefully not too busy to enjoy with the people that are dear to me. So hama, I may not know my purpose yet, but I choose to live, because the elegant innovator makes lemonade, loves hard and enjoys it all, ko kutyei (why not) LOL. From the young elegant African innovator to the rest of the elegant innovators out there.

The bitter sweet pain😅

So finally, after four good years of studying for my undergrad in engineering, I finish🎓🎓. And all I can come up with are the bitter sweet memories. This has been the most difficult part of my journey as an elegant and innovative young African woman.  I can’t help but feel good and triumphant. I keep on smiling as a thought keeps on sweeping through the back of my mind every five minutes, it was all worth it. I have friends, I found love, I grew up, learnt about being that innovative woman, and above all, I learnt to take each beautiful moment as it came, and each fall as a thorn that I could either live with or deal with…
I am better and bolder, cooler and oh more confident, with dreams bigger than those I had at the beginning of my journey. Life is beautiful and is for living. I am living mine, counting one more victory, another trophy in my invisible cabinet. Elegant innovators, are you living yours???

And I smile..

Days are not all the same, some crappy, others beautiful. Today i wake up feeling so good and ready to take on the world, tomorrow, I can’t say the same. but in all this, i have learnt one simple thing, to smile.  maybe because i have been told that i do have a beautiful smile(which i do love), but at the end of the day, that smile is my energy pack, the recharge for a lousy day. So today i woke up feeling a little of, in fact, i have been off for days, and then i remembered, God’s gift to me, and I smile. It then reminds that am i perfect? nope, but i’m beautiful, phenomenal, amazing and very much capable of doing anything in this whole wide world.

the perfect gift

Its my boyfriend’s birthday and i have been wondering what the perfect gift would be. For days i have been trying to come up with something that would really mean something to him, that would stay with him for a long time and that would see a warm smile curved on his face each time he looked at it. He always told me that a good gift would be something that captures his character, attitude, life, space, everything so as to say. but wait, that describes me. At the end of the day, whatever i give, has to be from the heart, for out of the heart, there lies perfection.So today i have just the perfect gift….